My name is Amanda Byrne and I am 38 years old, 5ft 4inches, I weigh 16st 6lb, with a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 39.48. I need to change, not just for me but for my family.
My ultimate goal is to be in the best possible health in order to have the best possible chance of getting pregnant! I need to lower my BMI to 30 in order to move onto the next stage of Fertility treatment. However it goes beyond that too, I want to be healthy and fit in order to greatly limit my chances of developing heart disease, diabetes, cancer, I want to live a long life. Smaller goals include being able to go shopping for nice size clothes, feeling confident and happy with my body, instilling a healthy mindset in my son Sean, enjoy being active with family and friends.
When I received the email from Susan & Shane from Sprint Spinning & Personal Training Studio in Gorey offering me this amazing opportunity, I almost cried!!! For 22 years I have suffered with my weight, I tried and failed with numerous diets all the while justifying my eating habits and ever increasing weight, I was depressed, I was busy, I was breastfeeding the list of excuses is endless, as and from April 25th 2017, there are no more excuses. As Shane said, no one but me made me this size!
Last Tuesday I met with Shane, my own personal trainer, we chatted for hours about all the changes I’ll need to make, all the benefits of reaching my goal, training I would be undergoing. Afterwards I walked back to my car feeling excited, determined to make this work, grateful for this opportunity and also a little worried, good old self doubt crept in… Can I do this? With every lb, even the unwanted ones, I want to do this, I want to succeed, I want to be healthy and fit, I want my family to be healthy and fit… but can I do this? This little seed took over and I found myself in a panic, what if I let them down, what if I let my husband & my son Sean down, what if I let myself down? I’ve tried things before and didn’t see them through, true that I have also done lots of things people said I wouldn’t do, namely Trek Macchu Picchu. That was the hardest physical thing me and my body has ever done. In my moment of panic I brought myself back to sitting on the airplane on our return flight from Peru, I can still feel exactly how I felt at that time, exhilaration, beyond proud, huge sense of achievement. I want to physically feel that again, Can I do this? Yes I most certainly can! It’s going to be hard, very hard but I have an amazing support network, my fans, cheering me on, self doubt you are no longer welcome in me!
On recommendation of my personal trainer, Shane, I looked through my presses, photographed the contents and sent them onto him! It was the biggest eye opener I have ever had. Apart from all the ‘Easter shite’ there’s a lot of unhealthy products which are part of our weekly shopping. I’ve to get rid/throw out quite a bit. I had until last Thursday evening to be rid of it all. A friend suggested I have a party or eat it but I actually don’t even want it. It’s going and that’s it!! I realised while chatting to Susan from the studio, that yes although I do like baking or cooking, it’s because I want to indulge on the end product, the Easter dinner, the chocolate cake, the scones, it’s like I believed if I cooked it, it was calorie free!! I also realised I inflict my need for sugary shite on others!! I’m the one that initiates the coffee and cake, I’m the one who buys the sweets/treats, I’m the one who offers to make the food or cakes etc. I’m the one who brings the fancy cakes to play dates! All of that has to stop, NOW!
Shane gave me a new dinner plate, it’s probably a good few inches smaller than my normal plate to help control portion size, I had my first meal on it and there was still plenty there.
I went and bought myself new runners, holy good God I didn’t realise how expensive runners were! Anyhow I got a pair of asics, they are comfortable and not heavy. I am a bit worried about what to wear to training, will talk to my friend, Emma and also my husband to see if I can be treated to just 2 gym outfits. I’m not talking top of the range stuff, just something I am comfortable in. I know others wont even notice me at the classes but it will make me a little more confident.
Every Thursday I’m going to take a front and side profile photo of myself, same place, same time, same outfit if possible! I am also going to keep a daily diary which will turn into this blog!
Yesterday I had moments of feeling completely overwhelmed but this morning I am feeling confident and eager to start. My main concern at this moment is finding suitable meals, I may have a few questions for Shane on Friday.
(This post was originally from diary ,Wednesday 26th April)