Thursday 1st June 2017 (Day 35)
I bought myself new gymwear today, Lidl had tops, cropped leggings and sports bras all super cheap!! My initial thoughts were, i’ll be returning everything once I try them on but surprisingly I didn’t have too!! Ok so I don’t look like your one on the box but I’m comfortable in them and I’m only going to get smaller!! For €46 I got 2x cropped leggings, 2x training tops, 3x sports bras & 1x t-shirt. I’m delighted
Ok so we’ve all heard of Big Brother, well I honestly think I’m a participant in that!! Well I did today… so there I was buying an ‘innocent’ americano, having a look at a little fruit bowl (which was priced at 2.54 for not even a mug full of mixed fruit!!) Anyhow in the corner of my eye I could see people waving and giving me that look! Low and behold it was Shane & Susan… ‘what are you looking at?’… I was like ‘it’s only fruit!’… Big Brother is always watching, lucky I wasn’t being bold!!!
PT was hard, in a good way. First of all we had our regular ‘counselling’ session that was interesting! Shane mentioned the fact that food is always on my mind, how food association is so prevelant in my every day life!! He said it became clear to him after reading the post about me going to the cinema with coffee & fruit, he asked why couldn’t I just go with water, I had no answer. I am going to go cinema soon and do that though, soon! He also told me to think of food as just an energy source, nothing else, it’s not a comfort thing, it’s not to make me feel good emotionally, it’s not a social thing, IT IS JUST FOR ENERGY! We spoke about goals and how they are not to be a weight or sizes, so I told him about the photo of me in China in 2005, that’s my goal! To look & feel like that again. I also have an outfit that was made for me in China, which wouldn’t fit me at all now, but when I was telling my friend about today she said she would treat me to a lovely night out, as long as I’m fitting into and wearing the said outfit!! I absolutely love the support I’m getting from friends Xxx
After all our chatting we got down to the actual exercises, again he showed no mercy, wasn’t even sympathetic to the fact that I had trained 4 days straight!! We did a few new exercises, I know I am going to be sore tomorrow! I feel like I worked really hard, I do get a wee bit panicky when I can’t get control of my breathing, but I’m sure over time it will improve and I will get more control over it!
Day 36 – Changing My Ways – Friday 2nd June
I honestly don’t know what’s happened to me, I have a day off training and I take myself up Tara Hill!!! A friend Kajsa joined me and we both, through the panting and sweating, thoroughly enjoyed it!!
I decided to put in to practice my new thinking on food, it being for energy only, I’m sure it will take time but I hope I get there I don’t know why it is that food is constantly on my mind, it’s not that I am constantly eating but I always need to think ahead, what’s for lunch/dinner etc, if we go to Gorey I’m thinking about where we can go for coffee, if I’m meeting a friend it’s usually for coffee & cake, lunch or dinner!! I really need to start changing my ways!!