Saturday 17th June – Day 51 – Can A Person Really Change?
Today was kinda awful, I feel like a complete and utter basket case… so as you know I got my period on Thursday, Thursday was grand, Friday was ok but I was completely exhausted by 5.30 that I ended up going to bed! This morning I felt ok but quite crampy but I wasn’t missing spinning because of it, so off I went. I think it was on the 4th song that the cramping just got so bad I could barely spin at all. Ruth was telling us what to do and how to do it etc but I just couldn’t. At one stage I felt like getting off the bike and going into the bathroom to cry. I struggled so much it actually upset me. I knew Ruth could see me and knew there was something not right but I just closed my eyes and tried to keep spinning, at any pace, to the end of class. I hung back a bit because I felt I needed to explain to Ruth, I’d hate for any of the instructors to think I just didn’t try. I went to talk to Ruth and got choked up. Goodness I felt like an emotional wreck!! Poor Ruth, I am sorry!!
I can’t even begin to explain all the different thoughts and emotions I’ve gone through today, a friend complimented me and it made me cry. I absolutely LOVE what I am doing, I LOVE how I am feeling, most of the time, I LOVE how I am looking (still a good long way to go), I LOVE the support and encouragement. Why am I upset then? I’m afraid a person can’t really change?
Sunday 18th June – DAY 52 – MOM I REALLY WANT TO GO WITH YOU
A walk up Tara Hill with my favourite little person For the past few Sundays when I’ve asked Seán to come with me and he keeps making excuses or says he will next time. So yesterday when I asked him he said ‘Mom I really want to go with you and Jessie so when you ask me on Sunday don’t let me say no, tell me I promised you and tell me I have to go’… This morning when I asked him he started with the excuses and I reminded him of what he said so he relunctantly came! At first he was flying up the hill, by the time we were half way up he started complaining BUT he kept going and we made it to the top. He was thrilled with himself and I was very proud of him. I showed him how to see how old a tree was and he found a ‘fairy spy glass’ and seen 2 fairies I’ve said it before that primarily this whole thing is about me getting fit and healthy but I want for Seán to develop a healthy and fit lifestyle too, I know I can’t expect him to change overnight but slowly I am hoping he will make the right choices. By the time we had reached the bottom he was promising to come with me at least once a week He also asked could we climb the Sugarloaf, so I told him we needed to practice on Tara Hill and in July/August we’d do it
This afternoon was an absolute scorcher, it was definitely an ice-cream kind of day… it was probably the first time that I really wanted something ‘forbidden’… so I bought myself strawberries and had them with a dollop of frozen yogurt… it wasn’t quite the same as strawberries and ice-cream but it cooled me down a bit and curbed my craving I still accounted for it in my daily calorie intake so it was ok and wasn’t linked to emotions, I dont think
I started really working on my ‘edible’ garden today, the pots may look empty but they’re not, they all have something edible in them, rhubarb, parsley, mint, pansies, salad etc… I’ve a good bit more work to do on it… but I’ve the whole summer to do it
Don’t forget you can also follow my weightloss journey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandas_weightlossjourney/?hl=en