Week 15 – Emotional

Friday 4th August – Thursday 10th August 2017

This week has been emotional, not in a bad way, good things have happened and made me feel like crying 😅😅😅 So my week started on Friday with spinning followed by pt!! I had a really good chat with Shane about my ‘worry’ which is what will I do when our 5 months intense training is up to make sure I don’t revert to old ways!! I suppose I’ve been both selfish and lucky so far that I have put my training 1st and my family have rowed in behind me to help mind Sean when needed, come September that changes, Granny will be back in college and although Sean will be in school, I probably should think about getting back into work!! So time wise I won’t be as available to do the spinning classes etc. Now that was the least of my worries, I suppose the food element is a much bigger worry so we’ve decided to keep up the Personal Training with Shane in Sprint Spinning Studio once a week and will do as many spinning classes as I can feasibly do given the week at hand. We’ll take it week by week, therefore I really don’t need to worry at all!! People did say to me, don’t worry you’ll be grand but I did worry, I honestly never want to go back to the old me, I’m not even fully at the new me yet and I need to continue to get stronger, and with Shane by my side (kinda 😊) I know I will!! So that worry aside I could relax into the week!!

Saturday morning I ran 5km (Hubby gave out to me for using miles, seemingly we don’t talk in mileage any more!!) around the track without stopping. I loved it!! I went on into spinning in Sprint Spinning Studio afterwards and yes I was tired afterwards but I felt amazing!! Sunday was my day of rest and although it was a busy day I did zero exercise and it felt great!! I was out at a community event where all they served up was apple tart, chocolate or sponge cake but they had water so I passed the cakes and took a bottle of water! Outside there was a chipper and a newsagents, the fruit looked awful and well really nothing else for me to eat so I sat sipping the water until the event ended. On the way home I knew I was picking up an Indian takeout for myself and hubby but the others with me chose to get a chipper. So I knew I would have the hours journey home with them munching on fish & chips so I got myself a starter from the indian, it was like a chicken tikka with a side salad, well it was absolutely delicious and kept me satisfied till I got home!! As Shane said ‘no-one is forcing me to eat anything, it’s all my choice!’ I was so glad I made the right choices 😊

Monday I did another 5km run around the track, it was a bit of a struggle at first but then I got into a stride. I was on about my 6th lap when another runner came onto the track, soon he was out lapping me and well my paranoia was getting the better of me! I kept thinking what he was thinking about me, probably thinking ‘look at the state of her, she wont last much longer’… at one point I actually felt like saying to him ‘I’m on my 10th lap!’ Anyhow I had to tell myself to cop on, he’s no more thinking of me than the man on the moon is!! I need to get myself earphphones and start listening to music while I run!! Being self-conscious is such a huge problem when your overweight and trying to exercise, it can take hold of you and stop you in your tracks, only for all the support and encouragement I have received from all the team at Sprint and everyone else over the last 15 weeks, I know being self-conscious would have won over and stopped me a long time ago!! So if you have started exercising and are feeling self-conscious… say to yourself ‘keep going, no-one is paying any attention to you, think how great you’ll feel, you can so do this!’ Don’t let self doubt win!!

Tuesday morning was the 1st morning that I really felt if I had the choice I wouldn’t have chosen to go to PT… my body felt weak and I told Shane as soon as I got there!! I knew my period was due and well I didn’t want to be there… but I did show up and I did the work and Shane took no pity on me, which I’m grateful for now, not so much at the time 😃😃 Tuesday evenings spin class was tough, actually I found Monday’s tough too, Ruth was the instructor at both classes and by 7.30pm on Tuesday she was definitely knocked off my Christmas card list!! I felt sick and was a bit annoyed with myself!! So Wednesday morning I was all geared up and ready for giving it my all and again I felt sick by the end of class, I began thinking what is wrong with me? Am I getting worse? Am I doing too much? But then a fellow spinner came over and told me I was going super fast and doing really well and well I felt great, I’m not slowing down or getting worse, I’m pushing myself more and feeling it!!

I know I’ve said it before but I honestly can’t believe how much I have changed, I love the feeling I get after exercising, I love not feeling crap after I eat, I love that I’m not bursting out of my clothes, I love that I’m buying smaller clothes, I love that I say ‘yes’ when my son Sean wants to go for a cycle, I love my changing body and the confidence it is giving me!!

Wednesday myself, Sean and friends did the Greystones to Bray cliff walk, it was a total of 10km, it was a really enjoyable day out. I was really comfortable walking, it was warm so there was a little sweating involved but I wasn’t out of breath or found any of it ‘challenging’… now it’s not a hard walk by any means but I can tell you, I would have found it more challenging last year, actually I probably wouldn’t have done it last year!!

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Sean & I in Greystones

Today was another rest day and I think my legs were more delighted than I was 😁😁 I love bookshops, especially ones with a coffee shop in them, so today I sat in one for over an hour, perusing through books while drinking coffee… pure bliss 😁😁 I bought 2 books, 1 is walking trails in Wicklow, I’d like to get out with family or friends at least once a month on these trails. The 2nd book is about a journey along the Camino Walk… it is on my bucket list to do it 😁 When I started o this journey it was about loosing weight so I would be fit and healthy enough to get pregnant, hopefully, but already I am getting so much more. It is opening up a whole new way of life for me and my family 😊

We’re heading to Hook Head at the end of this month for a few days, we went last year, we had a great time, seen the usual sights, ate too much and drank too much… this year is going to be so different, for starters I’ve to do my training while on holiers, I’ve to stick to my eating plan and no alcohol. We are bringing the bikes with us and although I know we won’t be out all day on them, we will use them daily. The highlight of it will be doing kayaking!! There is no way on earth I would have had the confidence to do it last year, absolutely not… this year though I am dying to do it!! Again I was getting emotional thinking of all the things we’ve missed out on doing simply because I was overweight and self conscious, not anymore… the World is our oyster and I plan to actively enjoy it 😁😁🚲❤

I’m mentioned I was due my period, well it arrived on schedule… so this is now my 3rd regular period since I’ve started on this journey. I cannot even remember the last time I had 3 in a row!! It feels great to get them and I really do embrace them, it means so much more to me than maybe to others 😊 It is great that I’m getting them especially when I go back to Holles St, I can tell them I have a ‘cycle’… with PCOS I can have a regular cycle but I still might not ovulate 😣 but on the good side it does still reduce the amount of treatment I will need, previous they had to make me get a period!! Part of me also wants to be a lot ‘lighter’ before I get pregnant too, so for the moment I am happy to get a regular period 😊😊

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Day 1 of my third cycle in a row! 

I cannot believe Week 16 is starting tomorrow!!





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